Yup

"So what if I'm smokin' weed onstage and doing what I gotta do? It's not me shooting nobody, stabbing nobody, killing nobody. It's a peaceful gesture and they have to respect that and appreciate that."
    -Snoop Dogg

The only thing he's killing is his weed, but it was dead well before bringing it on stage..

Depends How You Look At It

"There's a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot."
    -Steven Wright

Crash?

Why do 5 Hour Energy commercials always talk about that 2:30 feeling? I never crash until at least 4:20. ;)

Great Advice For Stoned Writers

Doug Benson and I think alike. :)

"I have to have a pen nearby whenever I smoke pot, because I’m going to come up with some stuff I have to write down. It might not all be great, some of it might be nonsense, but weed always helps me come up with some gems"
    -Doug Benson

What Are You Doing?

What are you doing with your life?

"If you ain't got no job and you ain't smokin' no weed, I don't know what the fuck you are doing wit yo life."
-Katt Williams

Too Old To Drive

I think that all drivers over 65 should be required to watch South Park's Grey Dawn from season 7. Hopefully they'll get the hint.

Escalators Don't Break

"An escalator can never break: it can only become stairs."
    -Mitch Hedberg

Something Seems Fishy

Just a random thought. Eating Fugu is like nature's Russian Roulette, but with a little bit less bullets..

Doggie Bag

And you thought YOUR bag tasted like shit:

"Hey, whats in this shit man." -Cheech
"Mostly maui wowie, but its got some Labrador in it." -Chong
"Whats Labrador man?" -Cheech
"Its dog shit. My dog ate my stash so I had to follow him around with a little baggy for 3 days. It really blew the dogs mind." -Chong

Fly Safe

Here's a good classic that I hear all the time, not sure who started it, though:

"Don't drink and drive, smoke and fly!"