Just For Kids?

"Remember when Trix used to be shapes, but now they're balls? What if we just can't see the shapes anymore because Trix are for kids?.."
     -Anonymous high Facebooker

That Sucks

"When you clean out a vacuum cleaner, you become a vacuum cleaner."
     -Anonymous

I Like the Way It Smells

"It's a great surprise to smell food cooking that you started and forgot about, except if you don't notice in time.."
     -Me

You're Burning Dinosaurs

"I used to think gas was expensive, then I realized that I'm buying liquid exploding dinosaurs!"
     -Anonymous

Stoners Are The Best Chefs

"Pro Tip: Keep a cake fresh and moist by eating it all in one sitting."
     -Me

Mind Fuck

"If Professor X can move things with his mind, why can't he move his legs?"
     -Anonymous Stoner

That's Rich

"If I had a dollar for every girl that finds me unattractive, they'll eventually find me attractive."
     -Anonymous

Chuck Norris Can Divide By Zero

"Black holes are where God divided by zero"
     -Steven Wright

Slim Chance

What if Stephen Hawking was the real Slim Shady but we would never know because he couldn't stand up?
     -Anonymous

I'm Part Awesome..

"Technically everyone is half centaur"
     -Me