Not So Fun After All

"I want to get a vending machine, with fun sized candy bars, and the glass in front is a magnifying glass. You'll be mad, but it will be too late."
    -Mitch Hedberg

Damn Oranges

An orange is named after the color that it is AND nothing rhymes with it. Seems kind of selfish if you ask me..

Why Is Pot Still Illegal?

"To make marijuana against the law is like saying God made a mistake."
    -Bill Hicks

Yup

"So what if I'm smokin' weed onstage and doing what I gotta do? It's not me shooting nobody, stabbing nobody, killing nobody. It's a peaceful gesture and they have to respect that and appreciate that."
    -Snoop Dogg

The only thing he's killing is his weed, but it was dead well before bringing it on stage..

Depends How You Look At It

"There's a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot."
    -Steven Wright

Crash?

Why do 5 Hour Energy commercials always talk about that 2:30 feeling? I never crash until at least 4:20. ;)

Great Advice For Stoned Writers

Doug Benson and I think alike. :)

"I have to have a pen nearby whenever I smoke pot, because I’m going to come up with some stuff I have to write down. It might not all be great, some of it might be nonsense, but weed always helps me come up with some gems"
    -Doug Benson

What Are You Doing?

What are you doing with your life?

"If you ain't got no job and you ain't smokin' no weed, I don't know what the fuck you are doing wit yo life."
-Katt Williams

Too Old To Drive

I think that all drivers over 65 should be required to watch South Park's Grey Dawn from season 7. Hopefully they'll get the hint.

Escalators Don't Break

"An escalator can never break: it can only become stairs."
    -Mitch Hedberg