December 3, 2016

Just Trying To Say Hi

"Do you think the ocean is salty because the land never waves back"
     -Anonymous stoner

October 23, 2016

Who's Your Guardian?

"The gender neutral term for Sugar Daddy is Glucose Guardian."
     -Anonymous

September 6, 2016

He Should Pay Half The Rent

"What if spiders spend their entire lives thinking that you're it's room mate?"
     -Anonymous

May 31, 2016

One Drink Too Many

"It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or the fourteenth."
     -George Burns

May 7, 2016

Between a Rock and a hard place

So, this isn't really a quote, but for some reason I woke up this morning and found The Rock sandwiched between some rocks in my front yard.. Which one of you stoners did this?


April 20, 2016

Happy 420!


April 12, 2016

Just For Kids?

"Remember when Trix used to be shapes, but now they're balls? What if we just can't see the shapes anymore because Trix are for kids?.."
     -Anonymous high Facebooker

March 22, 2016

That Sucks

"When you clean out a vacuum cleaner, you become a vacuum cleaner."
     -Anonymous

March 16, 2016

I Like the Way It Smells

"It's a great surprise to smell food cooking that you started and forgot about, except if you don't notice in time.."
     -Me

March 9, 2016

You're Burning Dinosaurs

"I used to think gas was expensive, then I realized that I'm buying liquid exploding dinosaurs!"
     -Anonymous

March 8, 2016

Stoners Are The Best Chefs

"Pro Tip: Keep a cake fresh and moist by eating it all in one sitting."
     -Me

February 18, 2016

Mind Fuck

"If Professor X can move things with his mind, why can't he move his legs?"
     -Anonymous Stoner

February 11, 2016

That's Rich

"If I had a dollar for every girl that finds me unattractive, they'll eventually find me attractive."
     -Anonymous

January 28, 2016

Chuck Norris Can Divide By Zero

"Black holes are where God divided by zero"
     -Steven Wright

Slim Chance

What if Stephen Hawking was the real Slim Shady but we would never know because he couldn't stand up?
     -Anonymous